8 lessons my closet declutter taught me about consumerism
I recently did a closet declutter. The decision stemmed from a sore lack of creativity in my daily sartorial choices (translation: All my outfits were boring AF). Not only did this declutter make me feel like a million bucks, it also gave me a lot of insights about myself, my personal style, and more interestingly, my consumerist habits.
Here are a few lessons I learned in hopes that it might be helpful to you, too.
1. When you feel you have nothing to wear, going shopping will make the problem worse. Instead, you need to edit things out of your wardrobe.
This is quite strange and counterintuitive, but it’s true. The root of the infamous “I got nothing to wear” problem is not lack but rather mindless accumulation.
When I started the decluttering process, I was a bit cynical simply because I didn’t think I had enough pieces to do a declutter. I had not bought new clothes in some time, and my wardrobe was the most pared down it’s ever been. I thought I needed new clothes to fix the problem.
And I did, in fact, need new clothes. Yet, I wasn’t going to be able to find out what exactly I needed, and which direction I was going to take my wardrobe, without first doing a declutter.
This is because of a common misconception about shopping. We think we fulfill one need when we shop, when, truly, we often fulfill another, and entirely different, need.
As a result, we end up cluttering our wardrobes with stuff that doesn’t necessarily serve us. Which takes me to my next point.
2. The dopamine high you get from purchasing something rarely correlates to how useful or needed the item actually is.
A recent realization for me was how often I shopped in order to feel some sort of gratification rather than to fulfill a need.
This was very disappointing because I fancied myself quite a self-aware person who, for the most part, knows the reasons behind her actions. Alas, not in this department. It turns out most of the things I buy is in order to feel a dopamine high in the moment.
The result, I found, was rather chilling. I have about 3 million sweaters (only a slight exaggeration) and just 2 pairs of pants, simply because it’s so much easier and more fun for me to buy tops than bottoms. (And I love winter. Unpopular, I know.)
Let me explain: My top pieces (sweaters, tees, etc.) are typically about two sizes smaller than my bottom pieces. I always need to try multiple pairs of pants because there are a few cuts that fit me well, so I have to deal with a series of small disappointments with both my body and the fashion industry in order to find a good pair of pants. As a result, I don’t own very many pairs of pants.
That doesn’t mean I don’t need pants. To the contrary. One of the reasons why I had “nothing to wear” was because I didn’t have enough pieces in this particular category, simply because it was a pain in the butt to shop for.
3. Shopping for a fantasy self is a surefire way to accumulate a lot of unworn clothes.
I have become better and better in this department over the years, but this round of declutter reminded me that I still occasionally accumulate items that serve my fantasy selves rather than my real self.
Some of my fantasy selves have historically been a corporate executive who wears suits and high heels daily; a hike-loving, wood-chopping, plaid-wearing, outdoors lover; and the artist who wears worn-out overalls and tees with paint stains.
These fantasy selves developed in different points in my life, clashed with each other in some fundamental ways, and contributed, all in their unique ways, to the clutter in my wardrobe for decades.
This doesn’t mean that I need to forget all about all of them, because they do make up a part of my style identity. The trick, however, is to figure out in what particular ways do all of these come together to form something that feels truly genuine to who I am.
For example, I have been drawn to my imaginary executive, not because of the high heels, but because of calm self-assuredness she displayed via her clothing (and demeanor). And that’s something I can actually incorporate into my personal style without killing my poor feet or injuring my ankle while walking to work.
4. Spending time to really experience the wardrobe that you already have is the best way to have a personal style you’re happy with.
My latest declutter also drove home the fact that experiencing a wardrobe, however small, in its entirety is really the key to sartorial satisfaction (band name alert). In line with the famous adage “Don’t buy things, buy experiences,” it is very possible (and I’d say, crucial) to turn your wardrobe into an experience, rather than a haphazard pile of stuff.
One way to do it is simply to get more familiar with it. What I’ve been doing was just to look at my closet, stand in front of it, stare at my clothes, and think about the unprecedented ways in which I can combine them. (This already helped me find new favorite outfit combinations I wore to work this past month.)
Another strategy that helped me experience my wardrobe more was to rearrange all of my pieces in a way that they are as visible and as accessible as possible. A closet where things are piled up on top of each other makes it incredibly hard to include more variety into your outfits.
5. Buying something without thinking where it will fit in your wardrobe is almost always a mistake.
Knowing your current wardrobe well also gives you the necessary insights to make much better shopping decisions.
For me, if I hadn’t seen everything altogether, I wouldn’t have really understood that I was in dire need of more bottom pieces and winter shoes. As a result, I would probably keep on buying beach sandals (in the middle of January? Why?) and sweaters that look pretty much the same as the ones I already have.
Getting well acquainted with the items I already have and taking the time to properly care for them also had the added benefit to generally calm down my shopping urges.
6. Uncomfortable pieces are never worn, no matter how good they look.
Sometimes an item looks so good on someone else that I can’t resist the urge to buy it. I try it on, it’s not great, it’s kind of uncomfortable, maybe a little tight, or kind of itcy, but it doesn’t matter, I think, because it’s just really pretty. It’ll be fine. Maybe the itch will go away, it’ll all be good.
Fast forward a year, and I never wore the item, because, well, the itch didn’t go away and it was still too tight. I still loved looking at it and fantasizing about an alternate reality where I could wear it often, but I also knew that I wasn’t really going to. It was just going to continue to be shelf decor or be donated so someone else can actually use it.
Once again, the joy of acquiring something is not the same as the joy of using it. The latter has to guide our shopping decisions, otherwise we create clutter.
7. If it’s not a hell yes, it’s a no.
For me, this has been a well-known yet rarely practiced truth. So whenever I buy a new item or decide whether I should keep it or let it go, I make a point of reminding myself: if it’s not a hell yes, it’s a no.
The “hell yes” is a kind of visceral reaction so strong and obvious that you don’t have to engage your thinking brain to list pros and cons, to rationalize your decision, or to invite others to chime in. It just feels right in your gut.
Before I allowed myself to trust this feeling, all of my sartorial choices would become long court cases where my various inner personas object to each other, and the items would end up in the “maybe” category, only to remain unworn for the next several months.
Having said all this, it’s important to note that this is a skill that develops over time and with regular practice. You may find that you don’t really have a “hell yes” reaction to anything, or that you often second guess yourself. That’s normal and you will feel it more and more as you ask yourself how you feel. Until then, you may have to deal with a large number of “maybe”s, and that’s totally fine.
8. There are no “must-haves.”
I have an interesting story about “must haves.” (Well… at least interesting to me.) For years, I have been envious of people who owned multiple pajama sets, and I thought they had reached a level of self-care and self-respect that I didn’t possess. I felt sort of weird that I didn’t have any, and that I would just wear leggings and a tank top at bed time.
About two years ago, in a bout of introspection, I finally decided to splurge and get a couple of matching pajama tops and bottoms, only to find out that I never really wear the tops—I just stuck to my trusty black tank tops. My symbol of self-care, it turned out, was something I didn’t really need.
Then I realized, maybe my wardrobe doesn’t need to follow a set of generic rules, but rather to be particular to me, my personality, my needs, and my preferences. I will never buy another set of pajamas and it doesn’t need to mean that I don’t love myself.
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Making the decision of what stays in and what leaves your closet is a personal one and it gets easier/better as you get to know yourself. Personal style is an excellent way to find out who you are and to give yourself permission to become that ever-evolving person.
A closet declutter is not just a one-and-done thing, it’s a continuous practice to track that personal evolution, and find ways to better and better reflect it to yourself and to the outside world.
Did you do a closet declutter recently, or plan to do one soon? Did any of the points above resonate with you in particular? Connect with me on Instagram to tell me how it all went!
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